Hawaii First Timer

You always grow up hearing about how great Hawaii is. It seems to be a destination that every American needs to go to at least once. I’m assuming the main reason that people never go is because of the cost. It’s not a cheap vacation, yet I’ve talked to some people that have been numerous times. I didn’t understand why until I actually went. The place is intoxicating. It’s addicting. We met someone on the plane over that went to Hawaii on a vacation and essentially never left. I can understand why.

I figured I’d get there someday. It’s not like someone really needs a reason to visit Hawaii, but maybe it just takes a little more planning than most vacations. I don’t think it’s a vacation that you just decide that you’re going to get away for a weekend. My vacations tend to center around one thing: BYU Football. And it just so happens that BYU was scheduled to travel to Hawaii to play on the first Saturday in December. All of the sudden the wheels are turning.

Usually getting Becky to agree on a football game/vacation takes a little coercing. I’ll float a little idea out there to get an initial reaction. If I don’t get an automatic rejection then I put a few more details together on our destination and before you know it, I’ve got the full blessing of my wife. For this football game/vacation it took me all of 3 nanoseconds to get a “yes” out of Becky. At this point we’re six months out, but it’s time to start making arrangements.

I’m kind of a book-it-myself kind of guy when it comes to vacations. I like the idea of a travel package, but I think I want flexibility when I travel. Hawaii is interesting because everyone is related to or knows someone who has a time share over there. Housing seems to be one of the more expensive propositions, so it makes sense if you can find someone with a deal. I decide to go a different route. Honolulu has a Courtyard Marriott and we could get a suite for a discount because I’m a Marriott Rewards guy. The hotel is three blocks from Waikiki Beach.

For a Hawaii rookie, this seems good enough for me. I also want to make sure we stay at a decent place because we stayed at an absolute dump in Niagara Falls, New York one night because I got a sweet deal online. It was so dirty; Becky went to bed with her shoes on. She didn’t dare take them off. So I’ve decided that from now on, when I travel, I will splurge on the hotel or at least try not to find the cheapest deal possible.

Once the hotel was arranged, it was on to the plane tickets. I looked at kayak.com and found what I thought was the best deals there. I watched for about two weeks and then found a deal that probably wasn’t the cheapest, but had decent connections and we didn’t have to fly through the night. It was a United flight that connected out of LAX on the way out and San Francisco on the way back. I booked them so far in advance that I was able to get the bulkhead seats (extra leg room) on both the legs into and out of Honolulu. I’m pretty pumped at this point.

Last, but definitely not least, was getting football tickets. One simple local call to the BYU ticket office and it becomes official. We’re going to Hawaii.

Now we need to find out what to do while we’re in Hawaii. This is where I start tapping into the knowledge of those around me. I quickly found out that I had a lot to learn. Conversations went like this:

Me: “Hey, we’re going to Hawaii, what should we see while we’re there?”
Random Person: “Which islands are you visiting? The Big Island? Oahu? Maui?”
Me: “We’re going to the Big Island. We’re staying in Honolulu and going to the BYU game.”
Random Person: “Those are on Oahu.”
Me: “Wait… what? Oahu isn’t the Big Island?”
Random Person: “Nope, the Big Island is Hawaii.”
Me: “I guess we’re going to Oahu then. Dang, we really wanted to see the Polynesian Cultural Center. Isn’t that on Hawaii?”
Random Person: “Nope. That’s on Oahu too.”
Me: “Let’s continue this conversation after I spend a few minutes on Wikipedia.”

So it turns out that most of the touristy stuff is on Oahu. All of the stuff we were hoping to see. And, as a complete bonus, our non-refundable plane tickets were actually booked to Honolulu which happens to be on Oahu. Maybe this vacation is going to work out after all.

We had a couple of critical elements that really helped with this vacation. First was Mayor Bruce Call of Pleasant Grove (herein referred to as the Mayor for the rest of this report). The Mayor is a Hawaii aficionado and has been numerous times. He gives me a list of places to eat. Now to look at the Mayor he doesn’t look like a big eater, but I know he has taste. This list is making the trip.

The second element that was probably the most critical was something that was given to us by a person that we hardly knew. I had the opportunity to meet Cathy Graham, an MPA student from the University of Utah. She had an assignment to job shadow a city manager for a day and it just so happened that I was available. During the course of the job shadow I told Cathy that we were planning a trip to Hawaii. She had been there before and had a few suggestions.

After her assignment was complete, she ran to a bookstore and bought me a copy of Oahu Revealed as a thank-you for the job shadow. Oahu Revealed is a travel book. I had never bought a travel book before, but just browsing through it had piqued my interest. We used this book so much on the trip that I started referring to it as the Oahu Bible. I don’t know if it was translated correctly, but it was true to me. It seemed to be straight from heaven. We carried this book everywhere we went. It had handy maps, restaurant suggestions, beach suggestions, hikes, snorkeling, etc. etc. I highly recommend a similar book if you’re a Hawaii newbie.

The rest of this write-up will be more of a travel log. If you’ve been to Oahu then you can follow along as most places we went will be familiar to you. If you haven’t been to Oahu then you can live vicariously through our wonderful adventure. I won’t be offended if you feel like you’ve already read enough.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Our flight was scheduled to leave at 5:55 a.m. so that meant a very early morning. I figured if we left PG by 4:15 a.m. at the latest then we’d be just fine. We had spent the previous night packing and were set to go. We got up early and got ourselves ready. For some reason, we weren’t in a hurry. Maybe we were already acting like Hawaiians, but we were taking our time. We end up leaving PG at 4:30 a.m. and as we hit I-15 at 4:45 a.m., I’m starting to get a little concerned.

We park in the long term parking and catch a shuttle to the terminal. It’s about 5:30 a.m. at this point and I keep thinking we’re cutting it close, but we’ll make it. As we check our bags we’re notified that the flight has been delayed by 15 minutes. Sweet relief. We’re gonna make it. At this point we check through security and it’s about 5:45 a.m. and we’re heading to our gate. As we approach our gate we can see that it’s kind of empty around the gate. The gate agent tells a couple of people that they can board. I think the exact words were, “OK, you’re going to get on.” The two people and the gate agent head down the jet way and close the door behind them. Just as we were walking up to the gate.

After a few minutes the gate agent comes back. She informs us the plane door is closed and that the two people that she escorted down got our seats. She told us that she radioed the baggage check-in people (no idea what their real title is) and they gave her the all clear. I asked why we were told the flight was delayed. She said it was delayed, but the captain wanted to leave on time and it was a full flight (minus two people). So they put the stand-by’s on and we literally missed our flight by 30 seconds.

I’ve never missed a flight in my whole life. And I decide to miss one on a long flight over the Pacific in which I had my special bulkhead seats all booked. It was hard to get too angry since it really was our fault for being late, so we asked the gate lady what we needed to do. She gets on her computer and starts plunking away. Apparently there was a flight to San Francisco that was leaving in 15 minutes and she was able to get us booked from Salt Lake to San Francisco to Honolulu. I think her computer was magical or something. Our trip is back on.

We get to San Francisco and hop on our flight to Honolulu. As soon as we sit in our seats it’s apparent that leg room is going to be an issue. Not to worry, it’s only a five and half hour flight. Not only that, but as we’re in the air I began wondering what happened to our luggage. Did it make it on the Los Angeles flight we missed? (Possible, but we were late.) Did it make it on the San Francisco flight? (Not likely since the moment we were booked, to when we got on the plane was about 15 minutes.) Or were our bags going to be coming in on a later flight? (The most likely scenario.) But herein lied the problem. We strategically dressed warm so when we left Salt Lake we didn’t have to bring a coat. I’m told it’s not really an item you need in Hawaii. So I’ve got a long sleeve flannel shirt and jeans on. Becky has a sweater and jeans on. If we have no luggage when we get there, it could get awfully warm.

We finally arrive in Honolulu and we’re in tropical paradise. With our winter clothes on. We go talk to the luggage people (I’m sure they have some title) and they track our luggage down. It is actually on the Los Angeles flight. The one that we missed by 30 seconds. They inform us that the LA flight was delayed and our luggage would be there in an hour and a half. They graciously tell us that they’ll deliver our luggage to our hotel when it arrives and then tell us that we can go and buy some shorts and a T-shirt and the airline will reimburse us. The idea that an airline was going to go out of its way for customer service told me one thing: We must look like freaks with our winter clothes on.

We snag the shuttle and head to the car rental place. We got a pretty good deal on the internet for $30 per day. Silly me thought that that would be our total. Pretty soon we were fighting for our financial lives.

First question: “Would you like to get the ultimate, super-duper, insurance for $79.99 per day?”

Me: (looking for the hidden cameras that were documenting this practical joke) “Ummm….No.”

Second question: “Well you can have the less super-duper insurance for $49.99 per day?”

Me: “Ohhhh, the less super-duper insurance. Tempting, but…No.”

Third question: “Here’s the bottom-of-the-barrel, cheapskate insurance. It’s $29.99 per day. Would you like it?”

Me: “Just a penny less than our daily rental price. Hmmm…I think we’re good.”

Last attempt: “Have you inquired with your insurance company that your insurance will cover you?”

Me: (having not inquired) “Yes, we’re covered.”

Me: “I’d like to add my wife as a driver.”

Them: (our last attempt to squeeze extra cash before they actually start their vacation) “Yes we can. It’ll be $14.99 per day”

Me: “I’ll drive.”

(The previous conversation was based on a true story)

People are giving us funny looks. I can’t get to our room soon enough. As we settle in our room, Becky is ready to hit the town. “We’re in Hawaii, we can’t just sit in our room.” says Becky. “We’re dressed like there’s a blizzard outside.” is my reply. So Becky wins out and the walking Freak Show heads down the streets of Waikiki.

We venture a whole block from our hotel. We’re a little hungry and we’re looking for a quick place to eat. We head into a building that looks like a mall and the map inside says there is a gourmet food court. I’m not sure what that means, but it has the word “food” in it. We start walking around this mall and it becomes apparent that it’s not an ordinary-kids-loitering-around type mall. Almost everything is in Japanese and while taking a closer look, everything is very high-end. In fact, after taking a moment to look around we’re the only non-Asian people in the place. Which is fine with me, I just need to eat. We find the gourmet food court and all it is, is a chocolate shop with $10 chocolate bars. It was time for us to leave.

We search and search for a place and I was “thisclose” to eating at McDonalds. But it just seems like you can’t eat a McDonalds while in Hawaii. So we settle on a little place called Sam’s Lunch Spot. We’re OK because they don’t have a dress code. I have the curry chicken and Becky has the teriyaki chicken (that’s right, you get a breakdown of every single meal). It feels like it’s 100 degrees outside. Not because it actually is, but because I’m not smart enough to get my actual luggage on the same flight that I’m on. It’s time to head back to the hotel. We’ll be in Hawaii for 7 days, I think we can hang out in our hotel room for a few minutes.

We get our luggage a few minutes after we get back. We quickly change into our Hawaii clothes (swim suit, t-shirts, sandals) and head to Waikiki Beach. I think our Hawaii experience has finally started. We quickly learn that Waikiki really isn’t that great of a beach. The Oahu Bible warned us to have water shoes if we go to Waikiki Beach. But what do they know, they only live there. We wade around in the water and keep stepping on little shells and stuff, hurting the bottom of our feet. Man, some water shoes sure could come in handy. Another thing that catches me off-guard is the water temperature. I was expecting bath-water warm, but it has a very slight chill to it. But I’m confident it’s warmer than taking a swim in Utah Lake in late November.

Becky wants to see the sunset (she has a huge list of things she wants to do) so we hang out on the beach until the sun sets. I’m not much of a romantic (shocker, I know), but I have to admit it was a pretty sunset. It’s becoming very apparent that I can get into this place. It was just so relaxing, warm, and slow. My very character traits. Now that we got that mushy stuff out of the way, it’s time to eat. It’s time to consult the Oahu Bible.

We end up choosing the Kaka’ako Kitchen. It’s a local diner that was highly recommended by the Oahu Bible. I’m in the mood for something Hawaiian so that’s our destination. I get to the ordering counter and announce, “This is our first time to Hawaii and we’re looking for authentic Hawaiian food. What do you recommend?” The reply was pretty curt and short. “We don’t serve Hawaiian food here.” For some reason I thought a place called the Kaka’ako Kitchen in Honolulu, Hawaii would actually have Hawaiian food. Maybe Kaka’ako means Denny’s in English. I have to admit I’m a little confused, but I order the Sweet Chili Chicken and Becky orders the Cobb Salad. Apparently she’s not bent on eating something “Hawaiian” every meal. The Oahu Bible says that you have to order the Coconut Mochi if you’re there. I’ve learned that when the Bible commands, you do it. And we weren’t disappointed. The Oahu Bible is spot on.

After dinner we discover that the Wal-Mart is nearby. We need to pick up some essentials. I buy myself a $12 beach chair so I can sit on the beach without getting sand in every crevice of my body (and believe me when I say there are a lot of crevices). We get some chocolates that the Mayor recommended that have macadamia nuts covered with chocolate covered in powder sugar. The Mayor is quickly turning into The Man. He hasn’t led us astray yet. We also grab a case of bottled water. This was probably the smartest move we made all trip. It was nice to always have some bottled water in our backpack or in the hotel room.

So it’s getting late. At least it feels like it’s getting late. The three hour time change is catching up to us. We’re in bed by 9:30 p.m. (12:30 a.m. back home) and I, in essence, have gone to bed the earliest I’ve gone in a long time. Day 1 is over and Hawaii has been great so far. I think this is going to go down in the annals as one of the best vacations ever.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Oahu Bible says that a favorite tourist spot is Diamond Head. Diamond Head is a crater created by a volcano, but you actually hike up the crater to a higher elevation which gives you great views of Honolulu. Before we went to bed the night before we decide that we’ll walk to Diamond Head, hike to the top, and then walk back to Waikiki. It all sounded so good lying in my bed the night before. Kind of like other great ideas I’ve had lying in bed (buying P90X, running a half-marathon, hiking the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim).

Whose idea was an 8 mile hike on vacation?

So we set out early in the morning. That’s one other thing about Hawaii. Due to the time change you’re going to bed early and getting up early. I’m feeling like I’m a go-getter. It’s such a foreign concept to me. We start making our trek to Diamond Head. It’s actually a pretty pleasant walk and we get to see the real Honolulu. The parts where they have bars on the windows. Hmmm… the Oahu Bible didn’t seem to mention these parts of town. By the time we arrive to Diamond Head, I’m pretty much exhausted and we haven’t even started the hike yet. The hike is one mile with an elevation change of 580 feet. It’s actually a pretty comfortable hike. If you hadn’t just hiked 3 miles to get there.

View of the ocean from top of Diamond Head

The views from Diamond Head are spectacular. Just like the Oahu Bible said they would be. The hike was very much worth it and its just awesome taking in the vastness of the ocean. Growing up in Wyoming limited my ocean exposure so I’m always fascinated by it. This view just accentuates it. The hike down seems a little quicker than the hike up (sarcasm) and if you’re keeping score at home we’ve logged 5 miles by this point. Only 3 more to go to get back home. We grab a shaved ice (a vendor every block for these guys) and we’re heading back.

View of Waikiki from Diamond Head

We stop at the Diamond Head Grill to get some late breakfast. I have one of my favorite meals of the trip. The Loco Moco. The Loco Moco is a bed of rice, topped with a beef patty, topped with brown gravy, topped with an egg over medium (eggs cooked to order). This is my kind of breakfast. Anything that mixes beef, egg, and gravy that actually tastes good is an accomplishment. One of my regrets was that I didn’t get this dish again the whole trip. Looks like I have a reason to go back to Hawaii. Becky gets coconut pancakes (this is Hawaiian as she’s getting) and lets me have a bite. It tastes great. Except for the coconut.

We hoof it back to the hotel and I’m ready for some rest. Not Becky. “We’re in Hawaii. We don’t rest.” Hey, I got up at 6:00 a.m. (9:00 a.m. back home). So we’re off to our next great adventure. Our next stop was the famous (or in my opinion, infamous) Swap Meet at Aloha Stadium. I have to blame the Mayor for this one. It was on his list of things for us to do that we brought with us. My only interest at all was driving to Aloha Stadium just so I had my bearings straight for game day in three days. You can never prepare too much when you’re in enemy territory for a football game. You’ve got to have an entrance and exit strategy.

On the way to the Swap Meet we drive past Pearl Harbor. Which prompts this question from Becky:

Becky: “What’s that movie that has Pearl Harbor in it?”

Me: “You mean “Pearl Harbor”?”

Becky: (thinks for a second) “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Also as we’re driving we get stuck in a minor traffic jam. I announce that while we’re in Hawaii we’ll never see a license plate from another state. At that very moment, in the lane to our left, a car drives by with Texas license plates. It turns out that was the only out-of-state license plate we see all trip. Those Texans truly think they are better than everyone else.

The Swap Meet was as underwhelming as I thought it would be. I guess people are hard up for cheap merchandise when they come to Hawaii. From my vantage point all I could see were tables and tables of trinkets and T-shirts. Because my vantage point happens to be the car. My negotiation was that I’d go to the Swap Meet, but I wouldn’t have to leave the car. This is where smart phones have major value. I can curl up with Cougarboad.com and Becky can shop to her heart’s content. Now, it might be an expensive hour for me, but if I’m not required to tag along then it’s worth every penny. When it’s all said and done we ended up with some T-shirts, jewelry and wind chimes. All for about 20 bucks. Obviously high quality stuff.

Well, by this time I’m pretty shopped out. It’s time to hit another beach. I think this time we’ll actually get in and swim. The Oahu Bible suggests the Ala Moana Beach which is a favorite of the locals. We head over there and it has free parking. The Oahu Bible has also freaked us out a bit. It constantly warns about having your car broken into while you’re swimming at the beach. So we drive around until we can find a spot where our car is somewhat visible from the beach. Becky’s ready to get in the water. It’s time to partake of the spoils of Hawaii.

Once again the water is slightly chilly at first. However it warms up pretty quick. But I feel justified as a local guy jumps in the water for his daily swim and he lets out a little yelp. “Is it always a little cold?” I ask, “This is pretty normal for winter. The water is about 10 degrees colder than in the summer.”, he replies. But, it’s not exactly the Polar Plunge, so we just consider ourselves lucky that we’re outdoors, in water, on the last day of November. We had to keep reminding ourselves that it was winter. Eighty degrees will do that to you. In the meantime I keep glancing at our car to make sure the inevitable thieves didn’t break in. Darned that book. I can’t even enjoy my swim.

Becky loves the beach part of Hawaii so she’s doing just fine. I didn’t come to Hawaii to swim. I came to eat. So we’re off to our next destination. Dinner. This is where the Mayor hit a home run with his list. He recommended Sam Choy’s Breakfast, Lunch and Crab. Kind of a long name, but any place that can do quality breakfast, lunch and crab is a place I need to be at. We cross check the Mayor’s recommendation with the restaurant recommendations from the Oahu Bible (in the mouth of two or three witnesses) and we have a winner. It’s chow time.

The Oahu Bible mentions a particular dish to order at Sam Choy’s. The Moi Moi Saimin is an interesting concoction similar to a stew. Except the ingredients are noodles, beef teriyaki, crab legs, breaded shrimp, char sui (huh?), kamaboko (what’s that?) and some other stuff all in a broth. The Oahu Bible mentions how ONO (Hawaiian for delicious) this dish is. So if I’m going to be a native Hawaiian, I’ve got to eat this meal. However as I peruse the menu, I don’t see it mentioned anywhere. I ask the waiter if they still have the Moi Moi Saimin and he gives me a funny look. I’m sure I butchered the pronunciation so I explain what’s in it. He gets a big smile on his face and says that he’ll ask the chef if he’ll make it. I think we’re onto something. Becky gets more Hawaiian with the Macadamia Encrusted Chicken. She’s starting to come around.

The waiter brings out Becky’s dish and says, “I have to go back and get yours. I need two hands to carry it.” I think I’m going to like this. The waiter brings back what looks like a punchbowl. Inside the punchbowl is all the ingredients mentioned in the above paragraph. He hands me some utensils I’m not familiar with and leaves us to our food. I look at these gigantic crab legs and realize that I’ve never had crab legs before. I don’t know how to eat them. The waiter walks by and I grab him and let him know that I don’t know how to eat crab legs. He shows me my “leg cracker” which looks like a set of pliers and a red plastic thing that helps you dig out the meat. After a brief tutorial, I’m on my way.

Best Meal of the Whole Trip

As I’m chowing down on this meal I realize that I never asked what the price was on the Moi Moi Saimin. Sam Choy’s isn’t the cheapest place in the world and most menu items were in the $20-$40 range. Being that this was easily the largest dish (literally) in the restaurant, I’m figuring I’m into this thing for about $40. So because of that I feel like I have to finish every last drop. It’s a good thing I logged 8 miles that morning and took a swim in the afternoon. I needed every bit of calorie burning I could muster. Unfortunately I couldn’t finish it all. I pretty much ate everything solid (yes, I was smart enough not to eat the crab shell) and had about a quarter bowl left of broth.

The waiter brings the bill and the meal was a whopping $19.95. Simply the best value on the Islands. You get to eat half the animal kingdom with some noodles and broth and it only costs me $20. I’m a fan for life. However, the Mayor has a recommendation as well. For dessert he recommended the Macadamia Banana Bread Pudding. Four things that I like. So I’ve learned over 11.5 years in city government that listening to your Mayor is a good thing. So we get the dessert a la mode and don’t regret a single bite. ONO!

As we head back to the hotel, I’m looking at the list of the Mayor’s suggestions and I see that he mentions some candy called Hi-Chews. We go to the local ABC store (one of several in Waikiki) by our hotel and pick up some packs of different flavors. Hi-Chews are similar to Starburst except they’re good. I think there are about 10 in a pack and so I start with the banana flavored. Big mistake. After eating the first one, I’m immediately hooked. I eat the whole pack. As soon as Becky falls asleep, I eat another pack. Then I eat the rest of the Hi-Chews that we bought. I think Becky got one or two (pieces, not packs). I’m ashamed with myself as we get up the next morning and there are wrappers all over my side of the bed. Looks like it’s time to head back to the store to buy some more. Just so Becky can have some.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

As a follow up to my indulgence the night before, I sent the Mayor a text. “Mayor, got some Hi-Chews yesterday. You might as well’ve introduced me to crack cocaine. Thanks.”

His response: “Dude, I know. Even worse, I just found a place in Orem that sells them.” Great. My addiction can continue. Actually since I’ve been back I’ve found them at the Maceys and Walgreens in Pleasant Grove. Just a stone’s throw from my office. Even better.

As a quick side note: Becky was our navigator for the entire trip. She had my phone with the GPS app in it. I would drive and she would tell me which streets to turn on. She did a pretty good job, but it was always a treat to hear her pronounce “Kapiolani Boulevard” or “Kalakaua Avenue”. Those were the easy ones. She had some streets that as she was trying to pronounce them, we’d drive right past it and miss our turn. By the time the trip was over she had shed her Haole (Hawaiian for “white boy”) pronunciations and was becoming a true native.

Also, Hawaii has three interstates. The H1, H2 and the H3. Now I don’t know how they technically call them “interstates” when they don’t really connect to another state. “Intrastates” I could understand, but just as long as the Federal Government writes them checks to have them built and maintained then I’m sure they really don’t care. I’ve never seen an interstate that has a top speed limit of 55 MPH. I guess it’s the Hawaii “Hang Loose” way to crawl along on the interstate. The amazing thing is, we never reached 55 MPH on the H1. It was a parking lot most of the time. If we got to 30 MPH we thought we’d hit light speed. By the time our trip was over we traveled each mile of all three interstates. Can’t say that about any other three interstates in the United States.

Anyway, right after we got the rental car Becky punched in the address to our hotel and gave me the following direction:

Becky: “Turn right, onto the H1N1.”

Me: (confused) “The what? The H1N1? Isn’t that a flu?”

Becky: (slightly embarrassed) “Um, yeah, I meant the H1.”

So Thursday is time to head north. The Mayor and the Oahu Bible agree, that we need to get some malasadas. Malasadas are Portuguese donuts and the most famous place to get them is at Leonard’s Bakery. We pull up to Leonard’s and realize we’re not the only one that’s heard about these famous treats. It’s a tiny place with pretty much no parking. We park across the street and get in the long line. Since we hadn’t had breakfast we order 7 malasadas. Six for me and one for Becky. Actually I’m a generous guy so I let her have two and maybe even a third for being such a great navigator. They were as tasty as advertised. But now it’s time for a road trip. Which in Hawaii will be about 60 miles.

We head up Highway 83 or Kamehameha Highway to Laie. We stop at a few scenic points and see a blowhole (a little underwhelming). For lunch we leave the highway to check out a particular beach. The whole trip we’re trying to find a place to boogie board and just never found the right place. Until Sunday. More on that later.

We end up in Kailua and I decide I need some sushi. We stop at some strip mall at a place called Ninja Sushi. Becky’s not too pleased as sushi isn’t her thing. I order a California Roll and some Chicken Curry. Becky opts for the Teriyaki Chicken. During lunch I ponder the more mysterious things in life. Like, is sushi a meal or an appetizer? To most people it’s probably a meal, for me it’s strictly an appetizer. Unless there are two or three more California Rolls right behind it. Becky was disappointed with the meal and the venue and (I didn’t dare admit this at the time) I had to agree. It was the crummiest meal we had our whole trip. Memo to self: Skip any future Ninja Sushi’s.

We finally make it up to Laie and found that to be a wonderful little town. We drive through the BYU-Hawaii Campus. It’s absolutely beautiful. We head to the LDS Temple and take some time in the visitor’s center and the temple grounds. It’s beautiful as well. The whole place just had a wonderful spirit about it. I could see how people could get used to this.

Best Temple Grounds Anywhere

View from front of the Temple

We make a little bit of a tactical error because the Oahu Bible probably led us astray for the first and only time on the island. The Polynesian Cultural Center opens at noon, but the Oahu Bible recommended that we don’t get there until 1:30 p.m. because all of the cultural stations aren’t open right away. So we take our time and get there around 2:00 p.m., but soon realize we wish we would have had more time there. I guess the Bible can be wrong without a second witness. Unfortunately our second witness (The Mayor) didn’t comment on getting there when it opened.

The Polynesian Cultural Center is probably my most favorite part of the trip. That’s probably cliché for a Hawaii first timer, but I really enjoyed it. We did get there in time for the canal pageant (or whatever they call it) and we were able to see the Tonga, Tahiti, and Maori stations. Each of them awesome in their own respects. We also got to take a canal cruise (or whatever they call it) and we even got rained on a bit. However it’s not the rain that chills you like back home. It was a light smattering of moisture that made the trip authentic. Pure Hawaii.

Best Hip Shakers at the PCC

But 5 o’clock rolled around quickly and we were off to our luau. We had the traditional buffet complete with Kalua Pig, Poi (now I officially know what crap tastes like), and some other stuff. I can’t remember now, but whatever we ate, I’m sure rice was involved. We also paid $15 to get a smoothie in a pineapple. The PCC isn’t the cheapest place on the planet ($75 per person entry and that was with a 20% discount courtesy of The Mayor) and they try to sell you something everywhere you turn. If you blinked too quickly you could have thought you were in Mexico.

Smoothie in a Pineapple for the low, low price of $15

The highlight of the PCC was going to the Men’s Room and walking in roughly the same time as one of the actor guys from the Fiji Village. He was dressed in a grass skirt. Curiosity got the best of me as he was in the urinal next to me. How does one go in a grass skirt? I fought back the temptation to take a peek which was probably a good thing. I didn’t want to A) get punched in the face or B) get hauled off to jail. These Fiji dudes weren’t the smallest guys around.

The second biggest highlight was the Night Show. It was called “Ha: The Breath of Life”. It was a fairly new show, but I think it was pretty typical. They revisit all of the cultures presented at the PCC: Hawaii, Tahiti, Tonga, Samoa, Maori, and Fiji (grass skirts and all). The production values were high and they even had an intermission in which you could buy an ice cream treat for $8. I probably could have ended up with more money in my wallet if I would’ve chose to go to Vegas.

After the trip back to the hotel, it’s probably our latest night of the vacation. We got to bed at 11:00 p.m. No staying up past midnight on this trip. Either that or we’re just getting old.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Friday gets off to another typical Hawaii first-timer activity. Snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. The Oahu Bible says to get there early to beat the crowds. So we get there about 7:00 a.m. and the beach looks pretty empty. We also get probably the best weather day of the trip (which is splitting hairs), but it was sunny and the visibility was great. Before you can start your adventure, the Hanauma Bay people have you watch an orientation film. My two takeaways: 1) Don’t stand on or touch the reef and 2) Don’t touch the sea turtles. They are endangered. No problem, I think. I have absolutely zero desire to be touching things that live in an ocean.

This was my second time to ever snorkel and it takes some getting used to. There is something about having your head below water, yet you’re still breathing. It was all I could do to try not to breathe too quickly. Kind of like panic breathing. I think I just don’t do well in water, period. So once we get the flippers on and get orientated with the mask and snorkel, we go to find some fish. As we’re swimming around (and because I have water issues) I would panic from time to time. You would think I was in 50 feet of water and I was sinking to the bottom. The reality was that I was in 5 feet of water and only inches from the top. But my problem is when I’d panic, I couldn’t just stand up. Remember Rule #1: Don’t stand on or touch the reef. Well the whole dang thing is reef. What’s a panicker to do?

Anyway, as I worked through my issues we got to see a lot of cool fish. We covered a lot of ground and Becky was loving it. It was her favorite thing of the trip. After snorkeling for 20 minutes I was ready for a break. If you weren’t supposed to have a “buddy” while snorkeling (Rule #3), then I would have hung out at the beach and let Becky go for it. Plus the flippers were killing me. It’s those dang high arches I have and the flippers don’t fit very good. Could I complain anymore about Hanauma Bay? Did I mention you have to hike about a quarter mile straight up to get out of the cove when you were done?

So the highlight of the snorkeling was on our final swim. I’m cruising along and all the sudden I swim right over the top of a huge sea turtle. I wasn’t really planning on seeing one (apparently they are endangered), but we were one of the lucky ones. I was kind of taken back by the size and couldn’t swim away fast enough. I try to turn around and warn Becky but yelling underwater through a snorkel isn’t very effective. Becky goes right over the top of the sea turtle just as it decides to surface. Her plan was to karate kick the sea turtle if it was about to make contact. But we wouldn’t want the Hanauma Bay police taking her to jail for Kenpo kicking an endangered species. So she’s able to avoid contact, pull out the underwater camera (pictures still undeveloped three months later) and take some pictures. Once we see the pictures we’ll realize the sea turtle was the size of a basketball, but, well, that wouldn’t make a very good story, would it.

We head back to the hotel and get ready for the day. While Becky’s getting ready, I turn on the TV and catch the local news. Just in time for weather. The weather guy tries to make it sound like things are happening to justify his job. Stuff like, “we’ll have a few scattered clouds this morning” or “the winds could get up around 10 m.p.h in the afternoon”. Then the 7 day forecast pops up. Every single day for the next 7 days was the same: High 81 Low 69 and sunny. This is early December, mind you. The weather guy is stealing money. A monkey could give that weather report.

The Oahu Bible says that Duke’s is one of the best places to eat on Waikiki. It’s right on the beach and has both indoor and outdoor seating. Its lunch time and it sounds like a good place to eat. The buffet was supposed to be a good one too, but once we got there it was a little underwhelming. So we opted for Fish Tacos and the Bacon Cheeseburger (their two most popular menu items). Normally I don’t share food, but I wanted to try both, so Becky and I shared. The fish tacos were good and the bacon cheeseburger was fine. We were sitting at a table that was technically indoors, but it opened up to the beach. We could see surfers, swimmers, dudes in Speedos, and everything from our seats. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something scurry across the floor. I look down and see a pigeon walking around. I’m not sure what the Hawaii Department of Health thinks about that, but we were almost outdoors. Nobody else seemed bothered so I just went with the flow. “Hang Loose” as they say.

As we’re walking back to the hotel we stop at a shaved ice place (2nd time if you’re keeping track) and I get the peanut butter caramel option. Not usually what you think of when you get shaved ice, but it looked good to me. It was seemed like a foot high mountain of ice covered with peanut butter and caramel topping. All with a scoop of ice cream in the middle. Becky was disgusted. But, hey, we’re married. She’s not going anywhere.

Ice Mountain of Yummy Goodness

As we’re walking back to the hotel, Becky is on the cell phone talking to our girls. As she’s ending the conversation she says, “I love you” just as she walked by some dude. He gets a big smile on his face and says, “I love you, too.” That’s the friendliness of Hawaii, right there.

Becky whips out her to-do list and it’s time to do some random hike through some random rain forest to find some random waterfall. Hiking is fine with me, but the Oahu Bible clearly stated that this was a muddy hike and to be sure to wear the proper footwear. Well, I left my non-existent hiking boots home. The good news was that we had a scenic drive up the Pali Highway to get there. The better news is at the top of the Pali Highway is the Pali Lookout. The best news is that it was a wonderful view that overlooked an awesome golf course. The worst news is that I left my existent golf clubs home. Something about keeping my marriage intact, or something.

Someone remind me again, why I didn't bring golf clubs

Well, we drive through some subdivision to find the not-so-top secret starting point. As we start our adventure (it had just finished raining being in the rain forest and all) we see a couple walking back to their car. They have mud up to their knees. We asked how the waterfall was. They never made it. It got too muddy and they turned around. We hike a little further and run into another couple. They have mud up to their knees. We ask how the waterfall was. They couldn’t find it. This was sounding less and less like a good idea.

But, Becky wants to see a waterfall. We start through the trail and its slow going. The trail is muddy (no way!) and I’ve got one pair of shoes for the trip. Other than that I have sandals. I’m not too pumped about getting my shoes extremely muddy. We hike about a quarter mile and it just doesn’t get any better. Becky’s getting tired of my wussiness so she agrees that we can turn around and go back. I’ll admit it, I have zero regrets about not making that hike. I think even Becky might agree.

The cleanest part of the trail

On the way home we take the H3. Not the vehicle, but the interstate. It’s supposedly one of the prettiest drives on an interstate in the United States. I have to agree, the Oahu Bible also said that the road cost $100M per mile. That’s our federal tax dollars at work. Thank you, Hawaii. It’s a good thing you’re a tropical paradise or we would have de-annexed you to Japan years ago.

We get home and decide to take it easy. We go to the hotel restaurant and get some Italian food. This might be the first step out of the Hawaiian realm for food. The crazy thing was that I wasn’t really super hungry, but I didn’t let that stop me from getting the Rigatoni Bolognese. Becky got the Penne con Pollo and I think we might have even shared with one another again. I must be getting a little lax in my old age. To top off the night we decide that we’ll watch a movie on the ol’ hotel pay-per-view. That was until we saw the price to watch Harry Potter Seven Part II was $16.95. Um, I think you can probably by the Blu-Ray for that. We decided that free TV seemed to be a better deal.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

GAME DAY!!!! The reason we (I mean, I) came to Hawaii. Kickoff was at 2:00 p.m. so we needed to make sure we left bright and early. The plan was to go to Pearl Harbor and then head over to the stadium at about 12:00 p.m. If you think that getting to a BYU game two hours before kickoff is way too early, then you don’t know me very well. I can’t risk 1) a flat tire, 2) a traffic jam, 3) an accident, 4) a (fill in whatever you want). The sooner I’m at the stadium the less there is to worry about. So hopefully Pearl Harbor isn’t backed up.

Well, we (I mean, I) should have listened to the Oahu Bible. It said to get to Pearl Harbor before 8:00 a.m. because they hand out tickets to the USS Arizona first come, first serve. The ticket has the time that you get to take the water ferry to the site. If you arrive too late then it could be a three hour wait. It isn’t tourist season so I figured that we’d be just fine getting there just after 8:00 a.m. Becky kept telling me we should hurry, but I’m more wiser than some book so we weren’t in any hurry. It wasn’t tourist season so I figured we’d be just fine. We get to Pearl Harbor at 8:10 a.m. and go and get our tickets. The next available time for the USS Arizona was 11:30 a.m. That’s treading on my two hour early arrival time for the game. But I guess you can’t fly thousands of miles to Hawaii and not see the USS Arizona. So we snag our tickets and hope that our ferry doesn’t break down or sink. But even if it did I was prepared to swim to shore to make it to the game on time. Hopefully Becky would make it as well.

Since we have three and half hours to kill we get tickets to go see the USS Bowfin. The Bowfin is a submarine used in WWII and this was actually a pretty interesting tour. I’m a little claustrophobic (read about Hanauma Bay above) so I wouldn’t do well on a submarine. Plus a guy my size (6’2”, 260) isn’t really made for a sub. I had trouble maneuvering myself in the submarine and that was without having to worry about getting to battle stations. I actually learned a few things on the tour. Apparently the U.S. lost 52 subs during WWII. Fifty-two. That seems like a lot. Could there be a worse way to die then getting hit with a torpedo while you’re a couple thousand feet underwater and the water starts gushing in the submarine? I can’t think of many.

After the Bowfin we decided to go get some breakfast at the Koa Pancake House just down the road from Pearl Harbor. This place was pretty authentic because almost everyone had some sort of rice dish for breakfast. I order a ham, mushroom, cheese omelet with house potatoes and a side of macadamia nut pancakes. Becky gets eggs and bacon, with the macadamia nut pancakes. It was a hearty breakfast and we needed it because this was probably going to be it until the game is over.

We scurry back to Pearl Harbor and get in line for our ferry ride to the USS Arizona Memorial. Before we make the trip they show us a 15 minute movie to give us a little historical background. The movie has actual footage of the USS Arizona being hit. It was quite amazing. I didn’t realize they had that. The whole surprise attack by the Japanese is an interesting story as well. Unfortunately for them it ended with a couple of atomic bombs on their native soil. Maybe they shouldn’t have awoken that sleeping giant.

The USS Arizona was worth it. The idea that people were entombed in that ship makes it quite solemn. We were at the memorial for about 15 minutes. It was actually a pretty quick trip. The whole Pearl Harbor thing was pretty cool and there was more for us to see, so it sounds like we’ll need to make a trip back. Anytime you visit some sort of war memorial it’s difficult to walk away without a greater appreciation for those men and women. Lots of people have given their lives so I can make a simple trip to Hawaii. God bless them.

One problem that I didn’t fully scope out at Aloha Stadium was the parking situation. My experience in attending college sporting events is that you have to be a donor or something in order to park in the actual stadium parking. So I actually considered walking from Pearl Harbor, but I wasn’t sure that was kosher. So we hop in the car and drive up by the stadium. Anything that resembled a parking lot required some sort of parking pass. Probably something they wouldn’t sell to someone decked out in BYU gear. So we actually double back towards Pearl Harbor and see a small park. The park has some parking which looked free, but the park was also fenced. The gates were open, but the big question was whether they would be open after the game was over. At this point it’s an hour before kickoff so I’m willing to risk it. If the gate is locked when I get back then I’ll just ram it with the rental car. Something that the Duke boys would be proud of. It doesn’t matter anyway, we’re fully insured (not really).

We get to the stadium about 45 minutes before kickoff. Plenty of time to walk around a little bit and take in the ambiance. I don’t know if the game is sold out or not (not even close), so we go find our seats. We’re in the BYU section so blue is in abundance. Road games are great. It’s kind of a bonding moment for fans as if it’s you against the collective world. You can make instant friends with the fans around you because we all know we’re in enemy territory and we’re outnumbered.

Just a few minutes early

Kind of like the time we went to Seattle to see BYU play the University of Washington. It was a sold out stadium of 80,000 Husky fans. But in our section there were some guys (BYU fans) sitting behind us. Total strangers, but if BYU scored a touchdown we would give high-fives to each other. On the last play of the game, BYU blocks an extra point to win by one. We start going crazy. The guy behind me grabs my shoulders and starts rocking me back and forth. I stand up and we share a hug as we’re jumping around. (Trust me when I say that this all made sense in the moment). I don’t know where that guy is today, but for that moment we were bosom buddies (quite literally). That’s the type of bonding that happens at an away game.

Well, the Hawaii game never had a “hug your neighbor” type moment. It was pretty close the first half, but BYU scores four touchdowns in the third quarter to put it away. Unfortunately we were in the end zone seats at the opposite end zone for all those touchdowns. BYU dominates them and all the sudden the whole trip was worth it. We get to spend some time in paradise and BYU wins their game. Life is good. One of the cool things is that by the marvels of modern technology we’re able to listen to the KSL postgame show on the way back to town.

A little game action

Perfect ending to a perfect night

Now all we need is some more food to make this day complete. We consult The Mayor’s recommendations and Kua Aina Burger is the winner. The Oahu Bible confirms and the next thing we know we’re ordering our burgers. As I order to my burger I notice the “chef” keeps looking at me. He gives me a “thumbs down”. Then I realize I’m still decked out in BYU stuff and he must not be a fan. I mean, BYU just creamed Hawaii and the guy that’s making my burger seems to be a big Hawaii fan. The loogie watch is on. For the next 10 minutes I keep a close eye on the kitchen. I also keep my ears open for that snorting sound that people make just before they unload some yellowish-greenish spit. Fortunately for me I think my burger was clean. It tasted great anyway. The Mayor makes another great call. He sure knows his foods. So the day is over and it’s bedtime (you know, 9:00 p.m.). Its Sunday tomorrow and because of all this time change stuff I think that being to church by 9:00 a.m. is totally doable.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Our last full day on the island. It’s Sunday, so we have church considerations. We find a 9:00 a.m. ward (Makiki Ward) in Honolulu. Due to the fact that we still haven’t fully adjusted to the time, it’s probably the first time that I had no problem getting up for 9:00 a.m. church. While at church I spot a former BYU basketball player. There are probably not many people in the world that would recognize Ben Murdock, former point guard, but I’m a little weird that way. Ben’s claim to fame is keeping a young freshman named Jimmer Fredette mostly on the bench while Ben was a senior. Much to the chagrin of Cougar fans.

We stay for sacrament meeting only (confession time), but I had to get to the Sunday Brunch at Sam Choy’s. Sam Choy’s is the only eating establishment that we frequent twice on our trip. And it was totally worth it. The brunch had some of the basics (omelet station, rice, and a salad bar), but they had a seafood stew that was very tasty. For dessert I had the French toast with coconut syrup. I say ‘dessert’ because the coconut syrup was outstanding. After dessert I went back for some more seafood stew and then topped it with some more French toast. It’s a good thing I didn’t pack my diet and left it home. It definitely wasn’t needed this trip. Sam Choy’s was the winner for best dining place in Honolulu. If we ever go back we will be making it a priority.

For celebrity sighting #2 for the day we had Greg McMackin, Hawaii head football coach, at the table next to us with his family. I can’t help but feel bad for Coach McMackin. He had lost to BYU the day before and if Hawaii would have won they would have been bowl eligible. He looked like he was a dead man walking. His wife looked even worse. After he left, I told Becky, “I’m wondering if he has an appointment with the athletic director today. I’m guessing he won’t have a job by the end of the day.” Well, I was wrong. It was three days later when Coach McMackin “retired” as head coach of the University of Hawaii.

We haven’t been to the North Shore for the whole trip (which in hindsight was a mistake) so we head from Honolulu to Haleiwa. If we’re going to be in Haleiwa we have to stop at Matsumoto’s Shaved Ice. Once again the Mayor and the Oahu Bible sign off on Matsumoto’s. We’re lemmings so we figure we have to have it. Usually they have super long lines, but we time it pretty good and only have to wait in line for a few minutes. We get a cornucopia of flavors (with ice cream, no beans) and it tastes good. But now we can get on with our lives and we head to the beach.

The Oahu Bible tells us how to get to the Bonzai Pipeline which is a famous surfing area. It’s not marked, but we have the insider directions. We get to the beach and it’s a beautiful day. Because we are attempting our best to respect Sunday, we don’t have our swimsuits. We’re just going to sit on the beach and enjoy the sun. The bad news is that this was the best day we’ve had on the whole trip. The waves were perfect for boogie boarding and the water looked beautiful. So, we just pull up our beach chairs and observe the hundreds of people enjoying the water. Some of the swimmers were in less than a swimsuit (if that makes sense). Which really didn’t help with the whole observing the Sabbath thing we (I mean, I) were striving for. However, it was early December and we were sitting on the beach. It played into the theme for the whole trip: Life is good.

Small waves for the North Shore

Becky finally getting the honeymoon she deserved 12 years ago

Becky decides that we need to see a special sunset before we leave islands. I decide I need some more food before we leave the islands. The Oahu Bible says the best sunset in Oahu is at Ko’Olina. Since Oahu is a small island so we should be able to make it there with no problem. As we start heading that way we have to stop and get dinner. We stop at Macky’s Shrimp Truck on our way out of town. It’s interesting to me that some of the best places to eat are essentially trucks parked on the side of the road. The Oahu Bible informs us that they are very lucrative so although they look like a dump on wheels they can churn out some good food. The Mayoral advice was to eat at Macky’s and it didn’t disappoint. The whole trip the food has been excellent (except Ninja Sushi). I need to go back someday just to eat at some other places and return to a few others. The Mayor’s list of places to eat was not completed. In fact my biggest regret on the whole trip was that we didn’t eat at the Hukilau Café in Laie. Especially after I watched an episode of Man vs. Food and they highlighted the Loco Moco at the Hukilau Café. Because of this fact alone, I vow that I will one day return to Oahu.

About the same time that Becky decides that we have to go to Ko’Olina for a sunset is about the time that the day seems to be ending sooner rather than later. The race is officially on. Can we get to Ko’Olina before the sun drops below the ocean? It’s really not easy to speed in Oahu. The roads aren’t wide and you have to drive through a town or two. I’m cruising pretty fast as we see the sun slowly dropping. We get on the H1 (or H1N1 to some) and we’re about 10 miles out. Ko’Olina is on the western side of the island and it’s tucked around a corner from Honolulu and Waikiki. There are lots of beautiful resorts which all looked fairly new. We find the exact beach the book tells us to go to and we have just minutes to spare. And it turned out to be well worth it. I’m not a mushy guy, but it was a beautiful sunset. We got there 5 minutes before it started disappearing. The setting was incredible. It turned out being a great ending to a wonderful vacation. Once again the Oahu Bible nails it.

About 20 seconds after getting out of the car

Not a sunset guy, but I have to admit that it's pretty spectacular

And the final payoff, Becky's vacation is worth it

Monday, December 5, 2011

It’s back to reality. It’s time to go home. Our flight leaves at about 3:00 p.m. so we have a few minutes to spare that morning. Becky needs more beach time and I’m pretty much done with the beach. We walk over to Waikiki and I bring my beach chair while Becky brings her swimsuit. Becky gets in her last swim and I peruse Cougarboard.com only to find out that Jake Heaps was leaving BYU. As much as I would like to spend the next 5 pages writing my thoughts about Jake Heaps (which I actually did and which you can also find on this blog) I’ll spare you my misery. As we walked back to the hotel we opt for one last meal in Hawaii: McDonalds. I had to start getting my stomach used to non-Hawaiian food so this was our restaurant of choice.

Goodbye, Paradise

We pack up, drop of the rental car, and get transferred to the airport. We sit in the airport, not depressed, but happy that we had such a wonderful vacation. But for three kids at home, maybe we would have just stayed there the rest of our lives. Do people get sick of living there? Do they get tired of not having seasons? We saw Christmas trees all over the place and it was really hard to get into Christmas mode. It just didn’t feel right. On the flight home I was thinking if I’ve ever seen an opening for a city manager in a city in Hawaii. I don’t think I have. I don’t know if I’ve even met a city manager from Hawaii. Well, I’ll keep my eyes open in case one of them pops up. At least if I just got a face-to-face interview, it would all be worth it.

So we’re back in our winter clothes. We get back to Salt Lake and it’s a balmy 35 degrees. You see, in Utah we make our TV weather guys earn their money. We’re back to normal and now we have to re-adjust. After a few weeks we continue to reflect on the trip. It was lovely. It was awesome. It was really everything it was supposed to be. Now I just need to check the football schedule over the next ten years to plan our trip back.